Confessions of a Cereal Killer

Dear Nobody,

Today I’m going to write about everybody’s (and also my-lah) favourite subject: sex! (no no, not about myself, I realized that besides updating frequently I have to have something more STIMulating here if I want to maintain a minimal amount of readership.) Well, apparently the sex lives of our neighbours down south are down in the doldrums and the Singaporean government is really going all out to get it up (no pun intended).

Currently, Singapore is having this ‘Sexpo Singapore 2005’ whereby everything about sex is going on display for visitors to give them ideas to improve their sex lives. Before you can say ‘Really?! Everything about sex going on display??!!’ with your legs…uh..i mean eyes wide open I’ll have to say ‘Well, not everything.’

I’m not going into details about what is going on at the Singaporean sexpo (you can read all about it here) but I’m just going to make some comments. If you had clicked on the link you’d come across the article entitled ‘Singapore Sexpo not so hot’. So you would know how ‘interesting’ it is. Sure, you have the sexy lingerie, vibrator massager rings and condoms and also pole dancers but many other things like penis rings, genital ticklers and abnormally huge vibrators are banned. Goodness, no wonder Singaporeans are so passionless.

The article stated that this Singapore Sexpo isn’t as ‘entertaining’ as those organized in Australia. It seems that in the Land of Oz, sexpos there had autograph sessions with porn stars, strip shows and lovemaking demonstrations. To check out this statement I’ve done some online research, and can confirm the fact that the Australian version is indeed much racier than the Singapore one (yes, duh). They have loads of really fascinating programs. Just to name a few: ‘Heavenly Body Sauce’ Chocolate Licking competition, Fake Orgasm competition (!), Queensland’s Bad Boy Revue, Miss Nude Australia, Savage Lingerie Parade and much more.

Wow! I wonder what is the ‘sauce’ in the chocolate licking competition? Is it really chocolate? And what about the fake orgasm competition? I think this is actually quite good, for women out there who are tired of their over-frisky partners, you can learn how to fake one and quickly get it over with. Haha, guys, don’t shoot (again, no pun intended) me! And I wonder if this ‘Fake Orgasm competition’ has a men’s category? I’ll be damned if guys can fake an orgasm!

Really shagedelic, huh? I won’t pretend I’m not DEAD curious about all this stuff. Sadly, Malaysians have no chance of ever having a sexpo here. Even if we do, I doubt it’ll be hotter than the Singapore version. Yes, we have to maintain our nilai-nilai budaya timur. But strangely enough, Malaysians are generally hornier than our Singaporean counterparts! Yes, according to a recent sex survey by Durex, the average Malaysian has sex 83 times a year. Not too bad compared to the global average of 103 per year. Singaporeans are far behind us at 73 times which is 2^nd last. And the Japanese are the lousiest, with a measly 45 times per year. Weird, isn’t it? And they have such hot pornography with such hot AV actresses. Really, this means that you can’t judge a nation’s sexiness by their porn exports.

So has today’s entry whetted your appetite yet? Anyway, I gotta go. I need to *satisfy* my curiosity. Hee hee. What?! I was ONLY going to find out what exactly is a vibrator massager ring. Oh, don’t give me that look, you weren’t reading this article just to ‘increase your general knowledge’.

Haha! Have a very sexy day!

6

6

The Sexiest One: Signing off – Peace out, fuckers (pun intended. Lol)!

6

6

6

6

Ps: you can get the full report on the Durex sex survey here.

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 19th, 2005 at 3:33 am and is filed under 'My 2 cent's worth on other stuff/people'. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.